iStig

What Level of Douchebaggery do you Embody?

In Funny, General, Idea on November 22, 2008 at 1:06:22 am

I came up with this idea at work today.

In any open-ended question, score that amount of points. In any yes/no question, score 1 for yes, 0 for no.

a) How many letters in your first name? (divide by 2)
b) Do you have a name prefix (Dr., Sir, etc.)?
c) Do you have a name suffix (Jr., Sr., etc.)? (multiply by 2)
d) How many steps are in your cafe-purchased coffee (excluding size and type)? (for example, “small black coffee” counts as one step; “extra large triple-shot no-foam skim milk sugar-free vanilla latte with an extra pump” counts as six)
e) Is it Starbucks? (multiply by 2)
f) What is the size of your car’s engine, in liters?
g) Is it a pickup truck or SUV?
h) Is it JDM?
i) Is it a BMW? (multiply by 2)
j) Is it a Prius? (multiply by 2)
k) What size of wheels (in inches) do you have on your car?
l) Have you ever called someone a douche?
m) Do you use IRC?
n) Do you wear a Bluetooth hands-free headset outside of your car? (multiply by 3)
o) Have you had more than one girlfriend in the last month? (multiply by 5)
p) How many email accounts do you have?
q) Do you have a smartphone?
r) Do you talk loudly about your big merger, stock deal or dinner with your wife while in line at the grocery store? (multiply by 2)
s) Do you have iced tips?
t) Have you ever bleached your hair?
u) On a scale of 1 (barely audible) to 11 (you’ve been yelled at to turn it down), how loud do you play music in your car?
v) Same question, but for headphones on public transit.
w) How many friends do you have on your Facebook, MySpace, Nexopia, Bebo or other social network friends list? (divide by 10)

Now it’s time to get the answer to the question you took this for – just how much of a douche are you? To get the answer, just add all the above answers together. Take note of their weighted score.

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  1. You’re awesome. 😀

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