Add a dash of contract killer for that special touch.
Seriously, I just got the best spam mail ever. It comes from a guy named “KILLLLLL” (how creative), and the subject is blank. I find this hilarious. Enjoy!
From: deadlykillers61@gmail.com
Date: March 6, 2008 5:20:11 AM MST
To: Me
Hello,
I am very sorry for you , is a pity that this is how your life is going
to end as soon as you don’t comply. As you can see there is no need of
introducing myself to you because I don’t have any business with you,
my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you and I have to do it
as I have already been paid for that.
Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and this person
have spent a lot of money in this venture,This person came to us and
told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with your name
,picture and other necessary information’s we needed about you. So I
sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary
investigation needed for the operation on you, and they have done that
but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see
if your life is important to you.I called my client back and ask him of
your email address which I didn’t tell him what I wanted to do with it
and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now.
Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE?Since all program ahs be made and draw to
kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare
your life, $15,000 is all you need to spend in this process you will first
of all pay $8,000 then i will send a tape to you which i recorded every
discusion i had with the person who wanted you dead and as soon as you get
the tape, you will pay the remaining balance of $7,000. If you are not
ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.
WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE
BECAUSE I WILL KNOW,REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU
DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY
ABOUT YOUR TELLING THE SECURITY ABOUT IT BECAUSE A GOOD LOOK IS OUT YOU
AT MOMENT.
DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND
GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF ALL DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD
THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR
REPLY.
—
So, my question now is: does this count as telling someone? Because if it does, I should probably watch out. Or not. They can’t even speak or type properly.
blog 
Don’t you love when they don’t know the simple rules of English Grammar? My dad has twice now received a letter in the mail that claims a distant relative has died in Spain and left an unclaimed sum of 77.7 million dollars in the bank. The writer is supposed to be a worker at this bank and will arrange a transfer of half of the money so she can claim the other half. All you have to do is provide us with your telephone numbers, fax numbers, bank information….
Anyways, the whole letter is one paragraph and many words are repeatedly misspelled, including the use of fake place names in Europe (addresses). You’d think they might realize that you can just Google any street and see that it doesn’t exist. Anyways…