Number One: Forum Imbiciles
I browse forums on a frequent basis. Yes, I have no friends. I’m struck by the sheer amount of people who do two things:
1. Refuse to use Google
2. Ask about obscure ideas on these forums.
On one forum, there’s one member there who combines these two traits. I should save this person a little humiliation, because my blog is linked from there. But let’s call him “Shmantom_Ford”. Yeah, I couldn’t think of a name.
This member asks about the most obscure things that nobody would ever think of trying. It’s not because the ideas are particularly dangerous, it’s just that nobody cares. For example, two of this user’s most recent threads are: “Make backlit keyboard flash on new IM” and “Two Mice = Two Cursors”. He’s the only one who I can think of that would actually run these sorts of configurations. He’s the sort of person who would ask “can I run the original Mac OS, but on an Intel machine, and still run Photoshop CS3 in it?”.
The problem is that he occasionally asks intelligent(ish) questions. Like “can I shut the lid of my PowerBook and still keep it running”. All that would require is a simple Google search. But, for whatever reason, those six letters (OK… 10 if you include .com) are much too difficult to type when he requires a question to be answered.
Number Two: Chicken Is Not A Vegetable
I’m sick and tired of ignorance. I’m vegetarian (because I’m awesome that way – if you want a real reason, I can’t be bothered). I don’t really expect to be “catered to”, but I’d like a vegetarian option in a restaurant. I mean, a salad or something. But it never fails to surprise me how many people think chicken is a vegetable. The conversation goes something like this:
Me: “Could I please have the salad, but without the bacon on top?”
Waiter: “Sorry, we can’t do that.”
Me: “OK… do you have a vegetarian option for the salad?”
Waiter: “Sure do.”
Me: “Sounds good.”
/* The food arrives */ (I needed to insert a comment… and that was the only way I could think of at the moment. How sad.)
Me: “Sorry, but I think I asked for the vegetarian salad.”
Waiter: “That’s what it is.”
Me: “It has chicken in it.”
Waiter: “I don’t see the problem.”
For once and forever: chicken isn’t a vegetable. Never has been, never will be.